Today I decided to stay in and spend some time by myself as it all kicks off again tomorrow - London gig, Rome, final tour dates and then locking ourselves away in the studio for a couple weeks. Then America and then my holiday in Amsterdam!! This is my last day off in a long while. I really enjoyed my evening.
I'd planned on attending 2 different gigs but there were people at both gigs I really didn't want to see. People from my past and people from my present....I felt the best option was to stay at home and get familiar with our new bass amps. I believe people are transitory - I don't keep a real, strong connection with them. I've lost the need to be sentimental and my stamina to preserve friendships is rapidly deteriorating. There are those special few that I have and those people will have my all. Over the years I've come to find that the more chances you give certain people, the more they will fuck up. It's better to bite the bullet after the first time and look forwards to new people and new horizons. This may seem like a ridiculous way of living but I have my reasons and many scars to prove it.
I have a real issue with people disrepecting each other. As much as people think I'm a scene queen and flutter about from one club to the next every night, this really isn't the case. Apart from gigs and DJing, I spend a lot of my time at home or at random pubs and places away from the thick of it so to speak. I keep myself to myself and especially out of gossip. It seems like everyone has something to say about everyone else and no doubt despite trying to shun myself away, news travels and I'm surprised when I hear what certain people allegedly get up to and particularly shocked when I hear supposed news about me.
Haha. You have to laugh. I'm not going to reel out the expected Oscar Wilde quote at this point but being talked about in any capacity besides our music irks me. Forgot to put that on my irk list from the other day....
Sometimes you can feel like a complete ghost in London and other times you feel so hounded and claustrophobic. I find it interesting that there are so many scenes and groups within the relatively small music scene of London. These factions are so easy to spot and everyone knows exactly which one they are in. The girls and I find this fascinating. We're friendly to everyone yet we remain an island to a large extent. Not really sure why. Perhaps we're a bit too weird or perhaps we are yet to find the right people we completely click with.