Currently listening to...

I know I'm blogging furiously like a writer on speed at the moment. It's merely because I have a bit of time on my hands and as usual, quite a lot to say. Thought I'd get some blogs up now as we're pretty busy this month and may not have too much time so you can slowly gander over these if you fancy it.

I had one of those days today. You know, when you feel everyone around you is pushing your buttons and you just can't take it anymore. You are hypersensitive, you hate yourself and others and on top of it all, your ongoing stomach condition decides to go totally mental.

Jesus.

Anyway, here are some sights and sounds of a few favourite bands.

Enjoy.
D-Bird

MAZZY STAR


I don't think I've mentioned how much Mazzy Star mean to me. It's because they are just so special and I never felt that the time was right. When I first heard and saw Mazzy Star, I was completely blown away. I adore Hope Sandoval. Her extreme introvertedness, shyness and gentle voice make her such a unique frontwoman. She proves that you don't have to be the typical in your face, wild, attention-loving frontperson to make an impact. Hope is also of mixed Mexican-American origin and I also found this inspiring when I was growing up. PLEASE check out this band and her later side project, Hope Sandoval and the Warm Inventions if you haven't already.


THE SMITHS
You either love or hate this band. Either way, you can't deny that Morrissey is a lyrical genius. I've been living in my green Smiths sweatshirt a lot lately. I love it almost as much as my Nirvana one. Haven't worn that one too much lately as I feel I look rather emo in it all of a sudden.

Anyway, here is Girl Afraid, which is the story of my life:


Girl afraid,
Where do his intentions lay ?
Or does he even have any ?

She said
He never really looks at me
I give him every opportunity
In the room downstairs
She sat and stared
In the room downstairs
She sat and stared
I'll never make that mistake again

I'll never make that mistake again
I'll never make that mistake again


Boy afraid
Prudence never pays
And everything she wants costs money
But she doesn't even like me
And I know because she said so
In the room downstairs
She sat and stared
In the room downstairs
She sat and stared
I'll never make that mistake again

THE VELVET UNDERGROUND
Always. Whether to get revved up or to chill right down. The only music that really matters to me from the 60s besides a few girl groups.

SICK CLUB HAS ARRIVED

Finally, a place where we can all hang out regularly which is free to get in, has an amazing dancefloor and where there will be great music. I promise.

Spread the word
D-Bird

I Bask In Dreams of Suicide

Throughout my life and like quite a few other people, words have been my only real solace alongside music. These are both my undying, ferverent passions that will never subside.

I've only kept a diary in the traditional sense for one year of my life. It turned out to also be the worst year of my life. Since then, my outlet for thoughts are usually writings of this nature as well as creative poetry and prose. I first wrote poetry aged around 8 and made a regular habit of it since the age of 13. I was also heavily into spoken word and began to read my poems in public until 2005, when I was meant to read my poetry at Patti Smith's Meltdown Festival but freaked out when I saw her in the audience and read 'Dulce Et Decorum Est' by Wilfred Owen instead. Although I don't do spoken word anymore, I continue to write poems on a very regular basis.

It wasn't until I discovered confessional poets such as Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath that I realised that you could confess extremely personal thoughts and emotions and it was wholly acceptable to do so. Until I had read the works of such poets, I felt truly ashamed about my writings and inner thoughts and buried them away with scars that I never wanted to reveal.

I came across a very interesting article today from which the title of this blog is derived. It is an academic essay on women, poetry and mental illness entitled, 'I Bask in Dreams of Suicide: Mental Illness, Poetry, and Women' written by Kaufman and Baer. You can read the article here:
http://www-usr.rider.edu/~baer/KaufmanBaer.pdf

I find this premise interesting. Did the article make me self-diagnose myself as one of these mentally ill female poets? No. It is a very easy assumption to make that you should believe everything that you read and in particular, construe words to make sense when applied to your life. Yes, poetry and writing has been a constant in my life that helps soothe worries and emotions but I don't know if I write because I am mentally ill. I don't know what being mentally ill is. Perhaps I have gone through life without it being diagnosed or perhaps I am just someone who loves literature and language too much that it must be a staple part of my daily lifestyle. Who knows.

I shall leave you with a poem by Anne Sexton. Make of it what you will.
D-Bird

Buying the Whore

You are the roast beef I have purchased
and I stuff you with my very own onion.

You are a boat I have rented by the hour
and I steer you with my rage until you run aground.

You are a glass that I have paid to shatter
and I swallow the pieces down with my spit.

You are the grate I warm my trembling hands on,
searing the flesh until it's nice and juicy.

You stink like my Mama under your bra
and I vomit into your hand like a jackpot
its cold hard quarters.

PET HATE

No one I know can spell this word.

DEFINITELY

Yes, there is no 'a' in it and there are 2 'i's.

Spelling rant OVER.
D-Bird

REMIXX TIME

I was asked to do a remix by a band called Demontre of their song Broken Halo.

You can hear it here:
Broken Halo DBird Remixx.mp3

I'd like to dabble in this a whole lot more so bands, do get in touch!
D-Bird

May the Fortean be with you!!

I just remembered that I used to post out weird and wonderful facts from the amazing Fortean Times everytime I used to bulletin for Decasia Club. It's strange how you try and make a habit of doing something and then one day you just forget. Sometimes it's like that with people. I think when you move through people it's because you realise something about them or don't realise something about them and after a while, there is just no point. I'm extremely nostalgic and sentimental in some respects but the older I get, the more I find that sentimentality just gets in the way of your life. It's best left out of it.

Anyway, here's a great news item of the day. Goat or critter? We need to get to the bottom of this!!

http://articles.lancasteronline.com/local/4/235141

D-Bird

WORSHIP

So I've been known to rant a lot and in relation to live gigs, especially in London, about the self-conscious audiences.

Last night we played WORSHIP - a 2 day mini festival set in the decadent but slightly decaying grounds of Shoreditch Church. Technically, the sound could've been a bit better but atmosphere-wise, it was one of the most enjoyable gigs I've ever done.

It was great to see people go mental at the front and also that a little encouragement from me to go more mental resulted in a stage invasion. It was fantastic! I hope this will happen again at our gigs as it was so much fun.

I also really need to thank Sean Mclusky and Martin James Tickner. They organised and promoted the festival in just 2 weeks and it was a tremendous success. It's also great to see a couple of mavericks organise great live gigs at non-traditional venues. They are London's current unsung heroes and if it wasn't for them, Shoreditch would be an extremely boring and uninspiring place.

Watch out for their next adventure - Shoreditch Festival 2009 in July. Can't wait.
D-Bird